Unless you have been living in a cave the last few years, you probably know a little bit about the history of this show. Here's a refresher:
In 2004, back when the OC was a hit, MTV developed what Wikipedia refers to as a 'partially scripted' show called Laguna Beach, documenting the lives of a group of teenagers in Orange County, Calif. From this show emerged two major stars- Kristin Cavallari and Lauren Conrad (known then as LC).
The problem with high school kids? They graduate. The great thing about kids whose sole job is being a reality star? They don't mind if you give them a spin-off. And thus, out of Lauren's graduation and big move to LA, The Hills was born.
After five glorious seasons (technically four and a half... MTV is weird), Lauren decided that five years as a reality star was enough for her and she left the show. This left her 'supporting cast' of Audrina, Lo, Stephanie, Brody, and yes, even Speidi, without a star. What was MTV to do?
They bring in the bitch.
At least, that is what they are calling her. Kristin Cavallari has apparently been in the casts' lives this whole time- dating Brody, setting up Heidi and Spencer (thanks a lot), and remaining friends with Lo- and now she is back in a big way.
On last night's premiere, she wasted no time rustling feathers- flirting with and eventually going on a date with Audrina's ex Justin Bobby. Oh, that was after the girl fight at Speidi's party (Kristin vs. Stephanie and Audrina). The girls spent the whole night gabbing about how Cavallari was going to ruin their lives (and apparently the lives of every other female in LA), but, tell me if I'm crazy here, I personally like Kristin. I was always Team Kristin on Laguna (she had cute hair), and I don't really mind her 'evil' ways.
I actually think that Audrina is the one in the wrong here. In the beginning of the episode, she is asking Lo and Steph about Kristin and even says she will give her a chance. Then at the party, when Kristin goes and talks to Justin Bobby, Audrina remarks that 'friends' don't do that. Um, are you 'friends'? Have you met? I thought you didn't even know her. Audrina, are you saying no girl should ever be allowed to talk to Justin Bobby because you dated him first?
I don't know why I like her. Maybe because she still has pretty hair. Or maybe because she isn't really dramatic; drama just sort of finds her (in this case, Steph and Audrina were way too quick to jump to conclusions and start yelling at Kristin, who was just talking to Justin Bobby). Or maybe it is because I think she is funny, chill, and yes, sometimes, slightly bitchy.
But aren't we all?
We see this change is Dex right away. In the opening scene, he isn't stalking a potential victim, as we assume, but is instead driving little Harrison around trying to get him to fall asleep. In a nice twist on the opening credits, we see Dex slip on a white shirt with baby puke stains on it. And when he isn't falling asleep in the middle of the day or getting yelled at by Quinn, we hear him singing 'America the Beautiful' to his new little bundle of joy. Poor guy.
Meanwhile, Deb is in l-o-v-e love with Anton the informant, but will that be complicated by Lundy's return? Probably (What do you call the male form of a cougar?); Quinn has his eyes on a hot reporter (which will probably turn out badly); LaGuerta and Batista are hooking up (also, probably not a good idea); and, guess what? The Trinity Killer, aka John Lithgow, is going to kill a significant character in the first half of the season. Uh-oh spaghetti-o.
Oh yeah, and Dexter loses a body. Could it have been in his hustle last night? In his car accident? Will it even matter? I mean, there is no way Dexter would get caught anyway, right? Right?!
14. Kathy and Tony: Boring. That is all.
13. Joanna and Derek: Her dancing is okay, but I just don't like her personality. Is that mean?
12. Mark and Lacey: It was clean, fun, energetic- a solid quickstep. But for some reason, I just don't really care about Mark. And I think Lacey is super annoying.
11. Donny and Kym: He is too good. I think he is a robot.
10. Chuck and Anna: Oh, I just want him to get better. come on, Chuckie, you can do it!
9. Kelly and Louis: It was a rough(er) week for Kelly (no one was crying or singing her praises), but still pretty good.
8. Natalie and Alec: Hopefully if she breathes, she will get better.
7. Melissa and Mark: This is more of the Melissa and Mark I want to see- fun, fun, and more fun. Was it perfect? No.
6. Michael and Anna: Last week, I didn't really care about Michael. But he worked hard (practice at 5am until sundown!) and put out another solid performance. Way to go Mikey!
5. Tom and Cheryl: I love this guy. But I don't think his pre-fractured feet will last much longer, even if the voters keep him.
4. Aaron and Karina: I ranked them low last week, but coming in with an other above average performance this week, I had to bump them up. You can't deny it- they are great.
3. Debi and Maks: I just love these two. I thik Debi has room for improvement and hope that in the next couple weeks she gets her big break-out performance (a paso doble maybe?).
2. Louie and Cheslea: I've said it before and I'll say it again- Louie is ADORABLE! Did he do a lot of dancing in this routine? No, not really. But I don't care.
1. Mya and Dimitri: Killed it. Killed. It. That means that the judges' board goes as follows:
Tom and Kathy in last place with an 18
Louis, Melissa, Kelly, Chuck all with a 19
Joanna and Michael both scored a 20
Mark, Natalie, and Debi with a 21
Donny stands alone with a 25
Aaron and Mya tied for first with a 27
Yes. And yes.
In true Lost fashion, Flashforward opens with our male lead, Mark Benford (Fiennes), coming too, after the blackout. He gets out of a smashed car, surrounded by broken glass (and oranges..?), to reveal the chaos around him. People running around, screaming, confused; one guy is even on fire.
The whole scene was very reminiscent of Lost's opening scene (Jack waking up in the jungle and walking out to the beach to see the devastation of the plane crash), and, trust me, the similarities don't stop there. You may have gotten a glimpse of the Oceanic billboard (if not, see photo evidence), or maybe noticed that Flashforward stars three former Losties- Sonya Walger (aka Penny/Olivia), Dominic Monaghan (aka Charlie/Simon), and Kim Dickens (aka Sawyer's baby momma). And what about Sonya's love for the name Charlie? Penny and Desmond's son on Lost carried the moniker, and on Flashforward, Olivia and Mark's daughter's name is Charley.
Get ready. Like Lost, this show is going to make you think. And not like, 'who dunnit' thinking. I'm talking about BIG things. What would you do if you saw a glimpse into your future? How would you act differently? What if you saw something you didn't like? Would you try to change it? Could you? Are we all just victims of fate? Even if you can change it, how is changing your future affecting others'? Ahhhhh.But I digress.
Flashforward is no Lost... yet. But it definitely has a ton of potential. Honestly, there were moments that truly took my breath away. Mark standing on top of that car, revealing the scope of the devastation; Bryce coming to and seeing the bodies of surfers floating in the water; the FBI trying to wrap their minds around the death toll; the helicopter falling from the side if the building (very 9/11).
And it ended with the creepiest moment of them all- seeing the footage of the man in black walking around the stadium, when everyone else is blacked out. It reminds me of that scene in Signs, when you see the home video of the alien for the first time. I get goosebumps just thinking about it! My money is on the man being Simon.
Bottom line, Flashforward was an insane hour of television, and, I think, it will only get better... in the future.
Sorry, had to do it.
8. Kathy and Tony: She has pretty hair, but can't dance. And Tony is uber-annoying.
7. Macy and Jonathon: It didn't suck! I was really expecting a train wreck and it wasn't that bad. Plus, she taught us an important lesson- you will get bleeped for saying 'popped my cherry' on broadcast television.
6. Melissa and Mark: Dancing wasn't great, but at least she smiled. I kept calling her Sabrina the whole time (a. because she is a Teenage Witch, and b. because MArk danced with Sabrina Bryan. Confusing).
5. Joanna and Derek: I want to not like her, but she is good. The salsa was by far the best, but I do have some beef with the choreography- you didn't use the floor at all Derek! Move around next time!
4. Natalie and Alec: Nat has room for improvement, which is good (no one ever likes the people that are amazing the first night).
3. Kelly and Louis: Very smooth routine. She was the surprise of the night for sure.
2. Mya and Dimitri: They are good, duh. And Dimitri is hot (I shall call him mini Maks).
1. Debi and Maks: Were they the best? No. But she has potential. And she is funny. And he is gorgeous.
So there you have it. I already ranked the guys, but I don't think there is any way I could merge the two lists together. Sixteen couples is way too many- good thing two are getting kicked off tonight.
"Are we having a garage sale for the Lord?"
-Rusty to Dale when he sees his roommate packing up all his religious paraphernalia
"Your closet is huge. You could fit a person in there!"
-Whitney, Grant's 'girlfriend' to him and his gay boyfriend Calvin
"Geez Ash, if you vibe on that guy any harder you're going to get pregnant."
-Casey to the desperately single Ashley
"Awkward like that?"
-Ashley to Casey after her less then clever response to ex Cappie
"That's weird, my Nana usually sends me money for my birthday"
-Rusty as he opens his male at Kappa Tau (anyone who has lived in a sorority/fraternity house knows the feeling)
"I come from a long line of seaman.. That came out wrong."
-Rusty trying to explain his 'Anchor' nickname
"Live long and prospect."
-Casey, trying to quote Star Trek. Good effort.
(singing) "And that star will be called Rusty."
-Rusty, being adorable
"No one uses embossed wrapping paper unless they want to get in someones pants."
-Rebecca to Calvin, revealing his true feelings for Grant
"Karaoke, that's a fun word to say.", "It's like a furnace.", "Did you ever notice how many cats are in this house?", "She may be afraid of trees but when push comes to shove, she doesn't let you drink the shampoo. No matter how good it smells."
-and pretty much every other thing Casey and Evan said while they were high
Yes, Casey and Evan got high. And, tell me again, why is this show categorized as a teen show?
Wondering if the show deserves it?
Those still questioning all the perfection that is AMC's Mad Men should watch last week's episode, "A Guy Walks Into an Advertising Agency." This season's sixth episode really showcases the series' brilliance- from excellent writing, acting, costumes, and on this particular occassion, some insane blood-splattering special effects.
The times sure are a-changin' for our Sterling Cooper pals- in everything from their professional to their personal lives.
Take, for example, Don Draper (aka my beloved Hamm). In the past, we have seen Don as a pretty crappy husband and father, but with the arrival of 'Gene' (have a feeling that name might not stick...), we see a whole new side of him. He is patient with his cry-baby wife Betty and tender with his lisp-y daughter Sally (let's get that girl into speech therapy, folks). On the job front, he goes from thinking he will be offered a job in London (Sterling Cooper was taken over by the Brits at the end of last season); to finding out he has to report to a younger, British version of himself; to finding himself at the Waldorf striking deals with Conrad 'Connie' Hilton himself.
Then there is the beloved Joan Holloway- excuse me, Harris. The recently married head secretary finds out that her husband pretty much sucks as a doctor and will have to continue his residency for another year. That means that she has to keep working. Too bad she already put in her notice at Stelring Cooper. What's a girl to do!?
Or what about Roger Sterling himself? Sterling divorced his wife, married his (much younger) secretary, and made some extra cash selling his agency to the Brits. He is known for afternoon scotch and sitting at his desk eating ice cream, so is he really surprised that he was 'accidently' left out of the Brits new organization of the New York office? Make yourself needed Roger, or you are gonna get phased out!
But none of the Mad Men embody that change that is going on around them moreso than my hippie friend Kinsey. Last season, he had a black girlfriend and took part in a civil rights march; this season, we learned he has a thing for smoking marijuana; and this week, we saw him sitting on his desk playing guitar. He also uttered one of the best lines of the episode- when the British man-secretary tells him to shave his beard, Kinsey bursts back with, "What? Who are you people?!" Classic.
The episode was great, as usual, but what made it amazing was the little surprise we got halfway through. In a scene more expected from the offices of Dunder Mifflin than those of Sterling Cooper, a secretary runs over a man's foot with a lawn mower.
I am not joking.
Account man, Ken Cosgrove was given the John Deere mower from a client. During a mid afternoon work party, the employees get a little tipsy (yes, that's normal), and take it out for a joy ride. Laughter ensues. That is, until one of the secretaries runs over the new British boss' foot, splattering blood all over the office. Like your mother always says, 'it's all fun and games til someone gets hurt.'
Was that scene Emmy-worthy? I think YES.
In case you don’t watch, picture this- an equal parts scifi/procedural crime drama/comedy about an FBI agent (Olivia), a crazy scientist with memory loss issues and a love of slurpies (Walter), and his son (Peter aka Pacey aka Joshua Jackson) investigating freaky-deaky attacks by ‘the Pattern’. They are assisted by the coolest FBI agents around- Broyles and Charlie Francis, lab geek Aster, and a cow. The probable villain? Technology tycoon Massive Dynamics- ran by Robot-armed Nina and Walters old pal William Bell (aka Spock).
Confused? That is normal. JJ Abrams says his ambition with Fringe was to create "a show about relatable characters and sober human truths that could also inspire, like, an absolutely insane drunk-in-a-college-dorm-room conversation about seriously crazy shit."
Done, and done.
This season will be stellar, promising "bigger answers than you ever got before" as episodes unfold. Already on the radar? The return on William Bell in the October 8th episode, a new bad guy from ‘over there’, and more on the Observers, Broyles, and possibly Dr.Jones (who we last saw being cut in half trying to cross over to the alternate reality).
Another popular fan theory? Perhaps the Walter from the other side will be making his way over to our world to find his kidnapped son. Wouldn’t you be a bit peeved if your alt-reality self came over and took your kid because his died? Yep, that’s what I thought.
Yes, MTV was dominating the social networks last night with everybody talking about the drama at the VMAs and on ABDC.
1. Kanye West/Taylor Swift
Taylor wins for best female video, beating out HUGE contenders like Beyonce and Lady Gaga. As she is accepting her award, Kanye comes up and stage and takes the mic (I'm pretty sure he did say 'Excuse me' if that counts for anything), and said that Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time and deserved to win. Chaos ensued.
But let's be honest people. Wasn't he right? Beyonce's Single Ladies video was a cultural phenomenon. I guarantee you will see people in black leotards on Halloween. I bet someone you know knows at least part of the Single Ladies dance. And who hasn't seen the SNL spoof with Andy and JT?! It was pretty much one of their biggest skits of the year!
And who has seen this Taylor Swift video?
Blame it on MTV for not showing enough videos, but whatev. Kanye is nuts, and a douche, true. But he is also a genius. 'He talks like this cuz he can back it up.'
2. Lady Gaga
She showed up in a mask and neck brace, kissed Kermit the Frog, and had a really weird performance with blood involved. She is insane. That pretty much sums it up.
So what do YOU think of all the drama on MTV last night? I bet you love Taylor Swift and think we should boycott Kanye, right? No thanks.
-Text is sent received or discussed
-Serena alludes to her sordid past
-Blair uses an invented word to skirt profanity (”motherchucker”, “fustercluck”)
-Someone takes a jab at Brooklyn
-Dan and Nate share a homoerotic moment
-Chuck shows a hint of humanity
-Chuck shows zero humanity
-Anyone gets it on in a limo
-Blair wears a headband, cardigan, or colored tights
Yep, that'll do it. Have a nice morning.
That is all I have to say to Shaquille O'Neal right now. He has given me an absolutely delightful way to spend by Tuesday evening the last couple of weeks. Not to mention, introducing me to the cutie pie that is Oscar de la Hoya.
So far, Shaq is fighting a losing battle- getting his butt kicked by Roethlisberger, Pujols, and last night, de la Hoya. And next week, he takes on Michael Phelps!
On August 21st, our beloved Skills (Antwon Tanner) pleaded guilty to selling more than 10 social security numbers and bogus cards. He told the judge that while he was just a middleman, he was aware that his actions were illegal. He could face up to 10 years in prison, but it is more likely he will serve one year. :(
So what does this mean for Jamie's favorite babysitter and Mouth's wingman? Most of the taping for OTH's new season has already wrapped, so his character might not be affected...yet. But it is highly unlikely that producers would want him to remain on the show and he will probably get written off sometime this season. Maybe he will go 'travel' with Lucas and Peyton...
Now that I have broken your heart, how 'bout some scoop on the new season?
-Another time jump. This time just about a year later.
-Jamie's birthday party is the main event in the premiere
-Haley is recording her own songs
-Dan is healthy (darn.)
-Brooke and Julian <3
-A sex/pregnancy scandel will rock the Scott household
-And if that still isn't enough for you, check out this clip from the season opener
And speaking of Jason, can I just say that I am so so happy he is back to normal and free from the crazies at the Fellowship of the sun?! And him and Andy teaming up to save Bon Temps is just adorable. Love me some Jason Stackhouse.
How about the standout ladies of the episode? Poor Jessica loses her bf Hoyt just because she attacks his mother? Come on Hoyt, she is a vampire after all. And who loves Queen Sophie? I do! I do! I was expecting someone dark, mysterious, evil, but instead we get this snotty, rich girl ala Gossip Girl. And her 'day' room is the sh!t.
I do have to complain, however, that there wasn't nearly enough Eric-sexiness featured this week. I think he should be in every other scene (the others, of course, would be Jason's). Alexander Skarsgard is the new 'it' guy, and this Swede totally deserves it. Did you know that in the Viking scene where we first met Godric, it was Skarsgard who translated all the Swedish? He says they could've been saying whatever they wanted and no one behind the camera would have had a clue. And fun fact- he doesn't like being pasty white all the time. He says the first thing he did after this season wrapped was hit the beach for a tan. My kind of guy.
But here is the best thing about my Swedish lover. Are you aware that his first U.S. role was on Zoolander? I just assumed it was as some male model friend of Hansel's or soemthing but no. Earth to me, he was one of those guys. Yes, the one's who died in the gasoline fight after sipping Orange Mocha Frappacino's and jamming out to 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.' Don't believe me? Take a look at this scene... Yep, that tall blonde guy is our beloved Eric.
That's right, the king of the court takes on our favorite home run hitter tonight on Shaq Vs.
It was filmed at the River City Rascals Stadium on August 13th- so someone must know who wins, right? Right? Anyone...
PS If you didn't watch it, maybe stop reading.
First of all I love love love Rusty. Can he be my boyfriend please? Rusty was in sad puppy overload last night- his BFF Max moved off to England (aka The Beautiful Life on CW) without saying goodbye, and thus, couldn't help him get in the chem lab to finish his project so he wouldn't get kicked out of the honors program :( Luckily, with some convincing from Jordan, big sis Casey comes to save the day...
(And speaking of Casey, how sad was she last night? Dumped her boyfriend, told Cap she loved him, got rejected, and then stuffed her face back at ZBZ.)
Anyway, so there they are- Rusty and Casey- trying to get in the chem lab and discussing the Max and Casey breakup. And just as Casey says, "Sometimes they don't show up," obviously referring to Cappie not coming to her side the night before, guess who shows up? Oh yes...
Meanwhile... Evan is poor, and Rebecca is using him as a cover for the mystery man she made out with the night before. Who's the (un)lucky guy? You guessed it, none other than kitchen boy Fisher. Yep, the one who is dating Ashleigh. Yep, Ashleigh who is, like totally, new BFF with Rebecca. Whoopsie daisy.
And holy six pack. Calvin and Grant are going to try to make things work between them, and slow things down physically.
Oh and Dale is listening to the gospel to try and repent for his unholy actions from the night before. And then proposes to his landlord/cougar lover. Bold move. (She said no).
But back to the real story...
After some drama in the chem lab (things breaking, awkward convos, Cap saving the day again), Casey and Cappie (but mostly just Casey) come to the agreement that they should be 'just friends' (yeah, okay...).
And then, at the end of the episode you get to flashback and see what really happened after the 'world ended' the night before. Turns out Mr. Knight-in-shining-armor Cappie was going to go work things out with Casey, but Evan stopped him. Looks like we get another season of Evan-Cappie-Casey triangles. :(