Kristin = bitch? you be the judge.

This may surprise you, but I am NOT a Hills fanatic. I know, hard to believe, especially considering all the other trashy TV that I watch (pretty much anything and everything VH1 puts out there). But last night, I gave in to MTV's dramatic 'the bitch is back' marketing ploy and watched the premiere of the Hills.

Unless you have been living in a cave the last few years, you probably know a little bit about the history of this show. Here's a refresher:

In 2004, back when the OC was a hit, MTV developed what Wikipedia refers to as a 'partially scripted' show called Laguna Beach, documenting the lives of a group of teenagers in Orange County, Calif. From this show emerged two major stars- Kristin Cavallari and Lauren Conrad (known then as LC).

The problem with high school kids? They graduate. The great thing about kids whose sole job is being a reality star? They don't mind if you give them a spin-off. And thus, out of Lauren's graduation and big move to LA, The Hills was born.

After five glorious seasons (technically four and a half... MTV is weird), Lauren decided that five years as a reality star was enough for her and she left the show. This left her 'supporting cast' of Audrina, Lo, Stephanie, Brody, and yes, even Speidi, without a star. What was MTV to do?

They bring in the bitch.

At least, that is what they are calling her. Kristin Cavallari has apparently been in the casts' lives this whole time- dating Brody, setting up Heidi and Spencer (thanks a lot), and remaining friends with Lo- and now she is back in a big way.

On last night's premiere, she wasted no time rustling feathers- flirting with and eventually going on a date with Audrina's ex Justin Bobby. Oh, that was after the girl fight at Speidi's party (Kristin vs. Stephanie and Audrina). The girls spent the whole night gabbing about how Cavallari was going to ruin their lives (and apparently the lives of every other female in LA), but, tell me if I'm crazy here, I personally like Kristin. I was always Team Kristin on Laguna (she had cute hair), and I don't really mind her 'evil' ways.

I actually think that Audrina is the one in the wrong here. In the beginning of the episode, she is asking Lo and Steph about Kristin and even says she will give her a chance. Then at the party, when Kristin goes and talks to Justin Bobby, Audrina remarks that 'friends' don't do that. Um, are you 'friends'? Have you met? I thought you didn't even know her. Audrina, are you saying no girl should ever be allowed to talk to Justin Bobby because you dated him first?

I don't know why I like her. Maybe because she still has pretty hair. Or maybe because she isn't really dramatic; drama just sort of finds her (in this case, Steph and Audrina were way too quick to jump to conclusions and start yelling at Kristin, who was just talking to Justin Bobby). Or maybe it is because I think she is funny, chill, and yes, sometimes, slightly bitchy.

But aren't we all?

Dexter is BACK (sort of)

True, Dexter did premiere this Sunday, but he is not our same old lovable serial killer. Now, he has kids, and a wife, and a house in suburbia, and not a lot of time for his little vigilante side job.

We see this change is Dex right away. In the opening scene, he isn't stalking a potential victim, as we assume, but is instead driving little Harrison around trying to get him to fall asleep. In a nice twist on the opening credits, we see Dex slip on a white shirt with baby puke stains on it. And when he isn't falling asleep in the middle of the day or getting yelled at by Quinn, we hear him singing 'America the Beautiful' to his new little bundle of joy. Poor guy.

Meanwhile, Deb is in l-o-v-e love with Anton the informant, but will that be complicated by Lundy's return? Probably (What do you call the male form of a cougar?); Quinn has his eyes on a hot reporter (which will probably turn out badly); LaGuerta and Batista are hooking up (also, probably not a good idea); and, guess what? The Trinity Killer, aka John Lithgow, is going to kill a significant character in the first half of the season. Uh-oh spaghetti-o.

Oh yeah, and Dexter loses a body. Could it have been in his hustle last night? In his car accident? Will it even matter? I mean, there is no way Dexter would get caught anyway, right? Right?!

DWTS Week 2 Rankings

Another night of dancing has come and gone and here is my new rankings list:

14. Kathy and Tony: Boring. That is all.
13. Joanna and Derek: Her dancing is okay, but I just don't like her personality. Is that mean?
12. Mark and Lacey: It was clean, fun, energetic- a solid quickstep. But for some reason, I just don't really care about Mark. And I think Lacey is super annoying.
11. Donny and Kym: He is too good. I think he is a robot.
10. Chuck and Anna: Oh, I just want him to get better. come on, Chuckie, you can do it!
9. Kelly and Louis: It was a rough(er) week for Kelly (no one was crying or singing her praises), but still pretty good.
8. Natalie and Alec: Hopefully if she breathes, she will get better.
7. Melissa and Mark: This is more of the Melissa and Mark I want to see- fun, fun, and more fun. Was it perfect? No.
6. Michael and Anna: Last week, I didn't really care about Michael. But he worked hard (practice at 5am until sundown!) and put out another solid performance. Way to go Mikey!
5. Tom and Cheryl: I love this guy. But I don't think his pre-fractured feet will last much longer, even if the voters keep him.
4. Aaron and Karina: I ranked them low last week, but coming in with an other above average performance this week, I had to bump them up. You can't deny it- they are great.
3. Debi and Maks: I just love these two. I thik Debi has room for improvement and hope that in the next couple weeks she gets her big break-out performance (a paso doble maybe?).
2. Louie and Cheslea: I've said it before and I'll say it again- Louie is ADORABLE! Did he do a lot of dancing in this routine? No, not really. But I don't care.
1. Mya and Dimitri: Killed it. Killed. It. That means that the judges' board goes as follows:

Tom and Kathy in last place with an 18

Louis, Melissa, Kelly, Chuck all with a 19

Joanna and Michael both scored a 20

Mark, Natalie, and Debi with a 21

Donny stands alone with a 25

Aaron and Mya tied for first with a 27

what did you see?

Maybe that was the question everyone was asking last night, but this morning, the big question is, "Did Flashforward live up to the hype? Will you watch it again?"

Yes. And yes.

In true Lost fashion, Flashforward opens with our male lead, Mark Benford (Fiennes), coming too, after the blackout. He gets out of a smashed car, surrounded by broken glass (and oranges..?), to reveal the chaos around him. People running around, screaming, confused; one guy is even on fire.
The whole scene was very reminiscent of Lost's opening scene (Jack waking up in the jungle and walking out to the beach to see the devastation of the plane crash), and, trust me, the similarities don't stop there. You may have gotten a glimpse of the Oceanic billboard (if not, see photo evidence), or maybe noticed that Flashforward stars three former Losties- Sonya Walger (aka Penny/Olivia), Dominic Monaghan (aka Charlie/Simon), and Kim Dickens (aka Sawyer's baby momma). And what about Sonya's love for the name Charlie? Penny and Desmond's son on Lost carried the moniker, and on Flashforward, Olivia and Mark's daughter's name is Charley.

Get ready. Like Lost, this show is going to make you think. And not like, 'who dunnit' thinking. I'm talking about BIG things. What would you do if you saw a glimpse into your future? How would you act differently? What if you saw something you didn't like? Would you try to change it? Could you? Are we all just victims of fate? Even if you can change it, how is changing your future affecting others'? Ahhhhh.

But I digress.

Flashforward is no Lost... yet. But it definitely has a ton of potential. Honestly, there were moments that truly took my breath away. Mark standing on top of that car, revealing the scope of the devastation; Bryce coming to and seeing the bodies of surfers floating in the water; the FBI trying to wrap their minds around the death toll; the helicopter falling from the side if the building (very 9/11).

And it ended with the creepiest moment of them all- seeing the footage of the man in black walking around the stadium, when everyone else is blacked out. It reminds me of that scene in Signs, when you see the home video of the alien for the first time. I get goosebumps just thinking about it! My money is on the man being Simon.

Bottom line, Flashforward was an insane hour of television, and, I think, it will only get better... in the future.

Sorry, had to do it.

oh yes, it's LADIES night

Who thinks the women of DWTS did considerably better than the guys? Here is how I ranked our lovely ladies...

8. Kathy and Tony: She has pretty hair, but can't dance. And Tony is uber-annoying.
7. Macy and Jonathon: It didn't suck! I was really expecting a train wreck and it wasn't that bad. Plus, she taught us an important lesson- you will get bleeped for saying 'popped my cherry' on broadcast television.
6. Melissa and Mark: Dancing wasn't great, but at least she smiled. I kept calling her Sabrina the whole time (a. because she is a Teenage Witch, and b. because MArk danced with Sabrina Bryan. Confusing).
5. Joanna and Derek: I want to not like her, but she is good. The salsa was by far the best, but I do have some beef with the choreography- you didn't use the floor at all Derek! Move around next time!
4. Natalie and Alec: Nat has room for improvement, which is good (no one ever likes the people that are amazing the first night).
3. Kelly and Louis: Very smooth routine. She was the surprise of the night for sure.
2. Mya and Dimitri: They are good, duh. And Dimitri is hot (I shall call him mini Maks).
1. Debi and Maks: Were they the best? No. But she has potential. And she is funny. And he is gorgeous.


So there you have it. I already ranked the guys, but I don't think there is any way I could merge the two lists together. Sixteen couples is way too many- good thing two are getting kicked off tonight.

Will Greek ever win an Emmy for its writing?

No, probably not. But it should! Here are my favorite quotes from Monday's episode of the funniest 'teen' show on television:
"Are we having a garage sale for the Lord?"
-Rusty to Dale when he sees his roommate packing up all his religious paraphernalia

"Your closet is huge. You could fit a person in there!"
-Whitney, Grant's 'girlfriend' to him and his gay boyfriend Calvin

"Geez Ash, if you vibe on that guy any harder you're going to get pregnant."
-Casey to the desperately single Ashley

"Awkward like that?"
-Ashley to Casey after her less then clever response to ex Cappie

"That's weird, my Nana usually sends me money for my birthday"
-Rusty as he opens his male at Kappa Tau (anyone who has lived in a sorority/fraternity house knows the feeling)

"I come from a long line of seaman.. That came out wrong."
-Rusty trying to explain his 'Anchor' nickname

"Live long and prospect."
-Casey, trying to quote Star Trek. Good effort.

(singing) "And that star will be called Rusty."
-Rusty, being adorable

"No one uses embossed wrapping paper unless they want to get in someones pants."
-Rebecca to Calvin, revealing his true feelings for Grant

"Karaoke, that's a fun word to say.", "It's like a furnace.", "Did you ever notice how many cats are in this house?", "She may be afraid of trees but when push comes to shove, she doesn't let you drink the shampoo. No matter how good it smells."
-and pretty much every other thing Casey and Evan said while they were high

Yes, Casey and Evan got high. And, tell me again, why is this show categorized as a teen show?

Is this Sterling Cooper or Dunder Mifflin?

Most of my friends already know about my Mad Men obsession. It's true- I get giddy everytime I see the gorgeous star (and MU alum!) Jon Hamm say 'ZOU' in the new Mizzou commercials. As you probably know, Mad Men gets a ton of critical praise, earning its second straight Emmy this weekend for Best Drama Series.

Wondering if the show deserves it?

Those still questioning all the perfection that is AMC's Mad Men should watch last week's episode, "A Guy Walks Into an Advertising Agency." This season's sixth episode really showcases the series' brilliance- from excellent writing, acting, costumes, and on this particular occassion, some insane blood-splattering special effects.

The times sure are a-changin' for our Sterling Cooper pals- in everything from their professional to their personal lives.

Take, for example, Don Draper (aka my beloved Hamm). In the past, we have seen Don as a pretty crappy husband and father, but with the arrival of 'Gene' (have a feeling that name might not stick...), we see a whole new side of him. He is patient with his cry-baby wife Betty and tender with his lisp-y daughter Sally (let's get that girl into speech therapy, folks). On the job front, he goes from thinking he will be offered a job in London (Sterling Cooper was taken over by the Brits at the end of last season); to finding out he has to report to a younger, British version of himself; to finding himself at the Waldorf striking deals with Conrad 'Connie' Hilton himself.

Then there is the beloved Joan Holloway- excuse me, Harris. The recently married head secretary finds out that her husband pretty much sucks as a doctor and will have to continue his residency for another year. That means that she has to keep working. Too bad she already put in her notice at Stelring Cooper. What's a girl to do!?

Or what about Roger Sterling himself? Sterling divorced his wife, married his (much younger) secretary, and made some extra cash selling his agency to the Brits. He is known for afternoon scotch and sitting at his desk eating ice cream, so is he really surprised that he was 'accidently' left out of the Brits new organization of the New York office? Make yourself needed Roger, or you are gonna get phased out!

But none of the Mad Men embody that change that is going on around them moreso than my hippie friend Kinsey. Last season, he had a black girlfriend and took part in a civil rights march; this season, we learned he has a thing for smoking marijuana; and this week, we saw him sitting on his desk playing guitar. He also uttered one of the best lines of the episode- when the British man-secretary tells him to shave his beard, Kinsey bursts back with, "What? Who are you people?!" Classic.

The episode was great, as usual, but what made it amazing was the little surprise we got halfway through. In a scene more expected from the offices of Dunder Mifflin than those of Sterling Cooper, a secretary runs over a man's foot with a lawn mower.

I am not joking.

Account man, Ken Cosgrove was given the John Deere mower from a client. During a mid afternoon work party, the employees get a little tipsy (yes, that's normal), and take it out for a joy ride. Laughter ensues. That is, until one of the secretaries runs over the new British boss' foot, splattering blood all over the office. Like your mother always says, 'it's all fun and games til someone gets hurt.'

Was that scene Emmy-worthy? I think YES.

the MEN take the floor...

Tonight was the first of a three-night premiere of DWTS (exhausting). All the guys danced tonight, girls will dance tomorrow, and then there will be an elimination Wednesday (I think that is how its working...). 

Forget the judges scores.. Here is how I rank the men of DWTS:

8. Donny and Kim: Yes, he was really good. But I don't want him to win. People will vote for him even if he just sits in the middle of the floor the whole time. 

7. Michael and the new Anna: He is not a great dancer, and she is new. They are going to have to rely solely on his personality. 

6. Mark and Lacey: He was probably the smoothest dancer, but I hate Lacey. And I don't know him. 

5. Aaron and Karina: They flirted a lot, which is weird considering the circumstances (Karina and Maks just called off their engagement last week), and I'm pretty sure Karina wore those pants last night on the Emmys, but the dancing was not bad at all. 

4. Ashley and Edyta: No clue who he is and seems like he has zero personality... but I love love love Edyta and would like to see her go far. Hope he starts dancing better!

3. Chuck and Anna: He is like my Ty Murray this season. He really sucks, but I want him to get better so badly!

2. Tom and Cheryl: I never thought I would rank him so high, but that was so entertaining! He wears polos to practice, tucks his shirts into sweatpants, and hikes said sweatpants up past his belly button. It is like watching my Dad try to dance!

1. Louie and Vito: He. is. ADORABLE. Can they date please? I do not care if he looks like 'a little dancing hobbit' (per Bruno), or if his hair is too long for ballroom (per Len), I love him. 

Cutie pie, right?!

Best. Emmys. Ever.

This year's broadcast was, hands down, the best awards show I have ever seen. From the opening number, to NPH's final send off, I was completely entertained and smiling ear to ear. Only problem was, because everything was so great- it made it very difficult for me to gather my thoughts, or even choose my favorite moments. But, here they are-

The top TEN things about Emmys 2009. 

Neil Patrick Harris

If you enjoyed the broadcast this year, you can thank NPH. Not only did he host, but he was the producer as well. He has said he wanted to be more involved creatively; he wanted to be on stage more often; we wanted to guide viewers through the show. He did it, and did an amazing job. You know what I think? NPH should host everything. And I'm not the only one. Past awards show hosts Jeff Probst, Ricky Gervais, and John Stewart ALL gave him props. So there. 

Black, square-framed, nerd glasses. 

Simon Baker, Justin Timberlake, Dana Delaney... everyone was wearing them. 

A sense of 'community'

Glenn Close was the one you said it- what a privilege it was to be part of this 'community,' and you could feel the sentiment all night. It didn't feel like a competition, it felt like a celebration of all things television. 

Oscar's opening number wins an Emmy

"The first opening number written for a wolverine" was amazing at this year's Oscars. Don't remember it? Imagine Hugh Jackman and surprise guest Anne Hathaway singing and dancing as they talk about the year in movies. 

Dr.Horrible's interruption

Horrible? No, hilarious.

Michael Emerson

I have been waiting patiently for Mr. Emerson to get the props he deserves for playing the uber-creppy, uber-manipulative Benjamin Linus on Lost. What he does on that show is seriously intense. 

Montages

Loved them (especially the Variety one). I want to download them and watch them over and over!

PC-guy voiceovers

NPH had told Ellen DeGeneres last week that he did not want those lame voiceovers when people won (ie "This is their second nomination and first win..."). His remedy? Get the PC guy (from the Mac commercials) to say silly, and often false, things about the winners as they approached the stage. Was it funny? Aw, hell yeah. It certainly helped that the Mac-guy was in the audience (Justin Long is Drew Barrymore's sometime boy toy). 

Kristin Chenoweth

I am about to tell you something that makes me look insane, but it is completely true. When they announced Kristin, I jumped up off my couch and screamed "yes, yes, yes!" while jumping up and down in my living room. I had goosebumps. I was tearing up before she even got on stage. 

In case you don't know who this girl is, let me help you out. Chenoweth earned her Emmy playing the absolutley lovely Olive on the best show that no longer exists- Pushing Daisies. The first season was cut short by the Writer's Strike, and it failed to gain momentum for its second season. Imagine the crime-fighting group of Ned (a piemaker), Olive (a waitress at The Pie Hole restaurant), PI Emerson Cod, and Ned's childhood sweetheart Chuck. Oh, and Ned can touch people to bring them back to life. Oh, and one of those 'dead' people is Chuck. Throw in an amazing narrator, bright colors, synchronized swimming, and occasional musical numbers performed by the beautiful Chenoweth, and you have the most magical, the most beautiful hour of television I have ever seen. 

Obviously, to say I have strong feelings about this show is an understatement. And to see Kristin on that stage that was amazing. I wish I could use Ned's magical gift to help Daisies rise from the dead. :(

Quotes

Okay, this is my way of fitting in more than ten best things...

"I love reality TV. News? Not so much."

-NPH

"Here's hoping Kanye likes 30 Rock."

-first of many Kanye jokes made

"I'd trade this to look like him."

-Alec Baldwin to Rob Lowe after winning for Best Actor in a Comedy for 30 Rock

"I feel like Cinda-fella."

-Bryan Cranston after winning for Best Actor in a Drama for Breaking Bad

"What an incredible year. The election and then this."

-Matt Weiner after Mad Men's Best Drama win

"In this room, I'm considered above average!"

-Ricky Gervias, talking about the difference between the Oscars and the Emmys

"I'm unemployed now, so I'd like to be on Mad Men. I also like The Office and 24."

-Kristin Chenoweth, accepting her Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy award for Pushing Daisies

Let's hope the rest of the awards' season goes this well!

the freakiest show on TV is back.

Fringe begins its second season this Thursday on Fox, and it is one of the most anticipated returns this fall (judging by this hot EW cover at least). The series struggled a bit in the beginning, but by the end of the season it was averaging 8.8 million viewers a week. Now, that’s nothing compared to fellow freshman series The Mentalist, which averaged 16.3 million- and even beat out ratings monster CSI some weeks (!). However, my favorite Fringers did win over a popular crowd—it was the number one show in the 18-49 year old demo. And the show gained a HUGE following after their mind-blowing season finale- Spock?! World Trade Center?! Peter is dead?!- and they are hoping all the newbies will boost their ratings this fall.

In case you don’t watch, picture this- an equal parts scifi/procedural crime drama/comedy about an FBI agent (Olivia), a crazy scientist with memory loss issues and a love of slurpies (Walter), and his son (Peter aka Pacey aka Joshua Jackson) investigating freaky-deaky attacks by ‘the Pattern’. They are assisted by the coolest FBI agents around- Broyles and Charlie Francis, lab geek Aster, and a cow. The probable villain? Technology tycoon Massive Dynamics- ran by Robot-armed Nina and Walters old pal William Bell (aka Spock).

Confused? That is normal. JJ Abrams says his ambition with Fringe was to create "a show about relatable characters and sober human truths that could also inspire, like, an absolutely insane drunk-in-a-college-dorm-room conversation about seriously crazy shit."

Done, and done.

This season will be stellar, promising "bigger answers than you ever got before" as episodes unfold. Already on the radar? The return on William Bell in the October 8th episode, a new bad guy from ‘over there’, and more on the Observers, Broyles, and possibly Dr.Jones (who we last saw being cut in half trying to cross over to the alternate reality).

Another popular fan theory? Perhaps the Walter from the other side will be making his way over to our world to find his kidnapped son. Wouldn’t you be a bit peeved if your alt-reality self came over and took your kid because his died? Yep, that’s what I thought.