Thoughts on the 'True Blood' Finale

There's a lot of people disappointed with the finale, ranking it among the worst in television history, but honestly – what did you expect? True Blood has been less than stellar the last few seasons. You really expected them to churn out some amazing final episodes after not being able to craft an amazing season-long arc the last 2-3 years?

Here's what I did expect – 

• Sookie crying. 
• Bill dying. 
• Some save-the-day scenario for Eric and Pam and the town (mostly Andy and Jason) to rally behind, giving Sam a reason to return, albeit temporarily.
• Sookie and Eric to "have a moment," even if it was in friendship (as Jessica and Jason had a few episodes ago), but not end up together. How meaningless would Bill's death be if Sookie ended up with a vampire anyway?
• Jason and Bridget. Hoyt and Jessica. Arlene and what's-his-name. Lafayette and Jessica's ex-boyfriend. 
• Some flashbacks to notable characters (for Sookie) like Gram, Tara, Alcide, her parents. (No flashbacks to Terry, his story has already ended)
• Some heart-to-hearts for Sookie and Bill, Sookie and Eric, Sookie and Jason and Sookie and Lafayette – arguably the main characters / relationships on the show. Arlene and Sookie already got a great scene together earlier this season. And Pam and Eric already had enough heart-to-hearts this year. I just want to see them have fun, kick ass, yell at people. 

Now, some of that happened. Some of it didn't. And to be fair, I did not hate everything in the finale.

The good stuff first –
I felt like Bill's death was rather well done. I held my breath when Sookie was finally able to listen to his thoughts (a sign of his humanity) and gasped when she broke the shovel in half to steak him. I do, however, think that story arc was kind of beat to death this season – by the time he refused Sarah's blood, I wasn't surprised. It was obvious he was ready for the true death and to let go of Sookie. I was kind of sick of hearing him explain it time and time again.

I do think this was a missed opportunity to have a sweet moment between Eric and Sookie. I wish he would have "felt" her pain and shown up to be by her side following the death of Bill. Not romantically, just to console her. After all, Bill was his longtime frenemy, too.

I also didn't hate Jessica and Hoyt's wedding. I think Andy's speech at the wedding, and the fact that it was attended by the core characters was really appropriate. But - where was Lafayette?! Wouldn't that have been an easy scene to add him in? More on that in a minute...

And now.... the bad. 

One of my biggest complaints about the season overall – not just the finale – was the focus on characters that I didn't care much about. Willa, Tara's mom and the pastor, these Japanese dudes, Jason's weird girlfriend, Andy's daughter, even Sarah Nelwin. I even got called out on Twitter by Lauren Bowles for not caring about Holly's fate earlier this season. But we only get like 13 hours with these characters – don't waste my time!

In this final episode, we had meaningless scenes dedicated to Sarah (don't get me wrong – I love Sarah and Steve.... but their story is over.), Sarah and Pam, mentions of Willa (who then reappeared in the final scene, where has she been?!), and even a heart-to-heart between Sookie and the pastor. That's right, a guy who had about 3 lines up until this season got an entire scene of screen time with our heroine. And you know who didn't have a single line in the whole episode? Fan favorite, Lafayette. Let that sink in? Lafayette did not have a single line in the finale... but the pastor did. Wtf. 

But mostly, it wasn't fun. In fact, it was downright depressingly normal. For a show that pushed some boundaries, dared to be unexpected and embrace differences... it ended like an episode of Duck Dynasty. Sure, I guess the Stackhouse table was lined with vampires, shifters, black, white, gay, straight... but didn't it all seem so conservative, traditional, normal?

This EW article sums it up perfectly,

... Something about the blandness of True Blood‘s finale felt almost offensive. Jessica and Hoyt got hitched, because it was Bill’s greatest wish to see his progeny married off? Bill just had to lecture Sookie about how having children makes life worth living? Sookie needed to chat with the Reverend about God’s plan? For a show that once skewered Ted Cruz and other self-proclaimed defenders of “family values,” this was pretty conservative stuff.... How did two of Bon Temps’ proudest outsiders end up wanting so badly to be “normal”? Since when did True Blood develop such a fixed definition of what “normal” is?

I mean, how awesome would it have been for Sam's kid to jump out of the car and turn into a puppy. You know, weird it up a bit?

So.... What do you think? Would you have preferred it without the various flashforwards? Did you want to see the face of the man Sookie ends up with?

Where is Eric? "True Blood" Final Season Trailer

'True Blood' to end in 2014

True Blood to end run in 2014.

Thank. God.

I like True Blood, really I do. If only for the man candy. But it stopped being good... oh I don't know, somewhere in between the were-leopards, possessed orgies and Lafayette's luche libre demon whispering. Oh yeah, and the fairies.

Why do I still watch this show again?

In the beginning, this show was about something. Vampires had just 'come out of the coffin' thanks to the manufacturing of a synthetic blood drink called Tru Blood. There was still prejudice against vamps, and against those who sided with vamps. There were vamp-owned businesses and human-owned businesses. Government either supported vampire rights or were against them.

I liked that show.

Through the last six seasons, every time a storyline like this creeps in - the Authority, Governor Burrell, the Tru Blood factory bombings, Fangtasia vs Merlotte's, Hoyt's mom, all the initial hate towards Sookie, the Fellowship of the Sun etc I like it. I like the human/vampire conflict.

All that other stuff.... eh.

And while I do think the finale gave some new life to the show – humans depending on vampires for protection while vampires depend on humans for uncontaminated blood – it was only a matter of time before the real world problems ODed on mythical creatures.

True Blood Finale: Season 5

WARNING: This post contains details from the True Blood season finale. Read at your own risk. 

While I checked my watch more than once during the episode (it kind dragged....), I have to admit, my mouth was left wide open at the end. Literally.

I read an interview last week (that I can't find now...) with creator Alan Ball (or a writer maybe?) about how usually, True Blood's big climactic moment comes in episode 10 or 11, and then the finale is more about cleaning up the mess and setting the wheels in place for next season. Whoever it was said that this season was going to be a cliffhanger.... and it was.

(SPOILER TIME! I warned you.)

Seeing Bill drink Lillith's blood, melt away, and then rise from the pool of blood was And Eric yelling 'Run' was quite the cliffhanger. You can't run from vampires, much less one that is their re birthed deity. And what of Eric? He tried to stop Lillith/Bill. What will this ruler do to him now? Is Eric still stronger because he is older? What chance do good vamps have against Bill and the broken Authority now? Next season should be titled, Where Have All the Good Vamps Gone?

As for the rest of our Bon Temps buddies....

Russell, may he RIP. Not really. As much as I hate Russell, was that death really befitting one of the greatest True Blood villains of all time? Not to mention, one of the best actors the show has seen? I mean... Eric staked him before the opening credits even rolled. Just seemed too easy. Too unimpressive.  Honestly, seeing how things shaped up at the end of the episode, I would have liked to see some Bill / Russell interaction. Isn't God Bill on Russell's side now? Can Russell share power? Especially with someone charged with killing him?

Sookie should have ran to Eric before Jason. Just sayin. I know Jason is her brother... but Eric just saved her and her fairy friends.

Mr and Mrs. Stackhouse are not how I imagined. I always thought they would be more kindhearted like Sookie or Gran, so to hear them talk about vampires the way the did, encourage Jason to kill them all, ridicule Sookies' naivete... I'm just surprised. But are they they real thing? Or just figments of Jason's subconscious? I guess he could be making them to tell him what he wants to hear. I did love seeing his Rambo side come back again!

And speaking of Jason, the only upside to his 'death to all vampires' stance was his reaction to Jessica. She finally comes around and he tells her he could never love her. I love that and can't wait to see how it develops next season. Jessica and Jason have this bond - not only because he drank her blood - but because they lost Hoyt together.

Poor Andy. 4 kids? That's going to be hilarious. 

Uh, Sam and Luna aren't in the clear yet. That was awesome that they killed that vampire and exposed the Authority on live TV.... but they are still in the building! And Sam is naked! And Emma is a dog! And it was on TV, so those bodyguards know exactly where to find them. Let's hope they get up to the roof or wherever Jason and Eric and friends were headed....

Who is this girl that Alcide is in love with? What about Sookie? That was a total tease having them almost get together this season. And then next thing you know, he's off with some other chick! I know Eric glamoured him and said he couldn't like Sookie... but still. No one wants to watch a show about a werewolf and his wolf girlfriend. Also, how the heck will Alcide being pack master have any relation to the bigger storyline? Is it destined to be one of ....

The forgotten/useless story lines: Lafayette. Terry and Arlene and the demon. Warlow. CORRECTION. Get thee to HBO Go for a tease about next season and Warlow!!! 

Finally, is Hoyt gone for good? I hope so. Don't get me wrong, I love Hoyt. But he had such a touching send-off. If he comes back.... I hope it is in the season finale next year. Or in a season after that or something.

Waiting Sucks: True Blood Season 5

True Blood Season 5 Teaser

Season 5 - Buried Tease

Bloody Good. True Blood Finale.

Let's be honest: I was confused going into this final ep of True Blood. Last week felt like the season's conclusion, no?  Marnie was dead, Jesus/Lafayette harnessed their witch powers, Jason and Jessica had a nice little heart-to-heart.... It even had some weird fairy stuff to set us up for next season. I thought we were done. 

Not so fast. We got one more ep. 

It was off the a slow start. I've noticed that a lot of HBO shows use their season finale more for resolution of conflict or next season's set up than crazy, action-packed cliff hangers (Dexter does this a lot), but the first 20 minutes or so just seemed slow for True Blood. Was I the only one who thought that? 

Anywho. Kudos to Pam, Lafayette and Arlene this season (and this episode). They had bigger story lines that usual this year and I really started to like their characters. Pam showed weakness over losing Eric to that fairy vagina Sookie (best insult ever). Lafayette played three characters this season. And Arlene, she's my homegirl. Love her. And she provided the best LOL moment of the ep when her daughter dressed up like Janelle from Teen Mom. Ha. 

The finale did set up some stuff for next season rather nicely: We've got the return of Reverend Steve  and Russell. The promise of a vampire vs vampire war now that Eric and Bill are on the outs with the Authority. Another Arlene/Terry storyline, this time involving Scott Foley and Terry's military past. Lafayette will probably be talking to a lot more ghosts. I guess the fairies will come back, and force Andy to help them. Oh yeah, and Sookie will have to tell Alcide she just blew Debbie's head off. I know he broke up with her and all, but I can't imagine that conversation is going to go well. 

And finally, a True Blood recap (of mine) wouldn't be complete without a couple of gripes...  

First of all, was the only purpose of the creepy baby plot to show us the Lafayette was a medium and could be possessed by ghosts? Really? 

Did zombies really just save the day? It was that easy all along? 

And (if you ask me) Jesus' power doesn't seem all that powerful. So it makes your face into a scary mask. It didn't keep Marnie from being stopped (by Gran, no less). 

Did they really introduce the fairy/Andy storyline last episode and then not even hint at it in this one? 

And what the H-E-double hockey sticks ever happened to the werepanthers?! 

Letters to True Blood

Dear Baby,
Leave Arlene and Terry alone! They deserve some happiness! And you're creepy.

Dear Arlene and Terry,
Who gives a creepy, broken, dirty baby doll to a kid anyway?

Dear Jason,
Keep not wearing a shirt.

Dear Alcide,
Stop wearing a shirt.

Dear Jessica and Hoyt,
Make up already, would ya? You two are too cute to not be together!

Dear Marni,
After all that time tormenting Harry Potter, you turn out to be a witch after all? You deserve what's coming to you.

Dear Pam,
Sorry about your face.

Dear Bill,
You're a good king. Mean, but I like it. Good call on glamouring your incestuous great-great grand daughter this week. And capturing Marni. But leave Eric and Sookie alone. She doesn't like you anymore.

Dear Eric and Sookie,
About time!

Knights of Badassdom

Yes, that is the actual movie title.

Dinklage. Zahn. Kwanten. Pudi. And LARPing.
I love everything about this.

Even Crazier Than Before.

You might remember that last year, True Blood and I had a little falling out. I still watched it, of course, but I just felt like things went a little bonkers.

Shifters. Werewolves. Witches. Fairies. Etc. Etc. Etc. And this season is no better. Let's check in on a few story lines....

Witches posing a threat to vampires; cast spell on Eric who is now hiding out with Sookie. Bill is looking for him. Pam's face melted off when she confronted said witches. I can deal with this one. Why? Because the witches involve vampires... the heart of the show. If it involves Sookie/Bill/Eric, I'll accept it. Plus, it connects the Lafayette and Boyfriend storyline to the main storyline and makes last season's witch developments sort of matter. (Although I'd still like a follow up on all that crazy voodoo/nightmare/vision stuff Lafayette was having....)

Jason is kidnapped, raped and I guess turned into a panther? No. Stop. I love Jason. So much. But this has been going on long enough. The last big Jason story lines we got ended up being great - his involvement with the crazy vamp-killing church, going all commando with Andy. Will this one be great? Doubtful. I'm sick of Crystal.

Bill is related to the Bellefleurs? Totally. That's great. I like this new, powerful Bill. And this means he slept with his great-great grand daughter or something, right?

Andy's hooked on V.  Has to do with vamps? Yep, I'm okay with that one.

Sam's brother is hanging out with Hoyt's mom, trying to steal her money. Meanwhile, Sam is hanging out with a new shifter gal pal who used to date a werewolf. Seriously? Are vampires or Sookie at all involved in that? Am I supposed to care? Because I don't.

Speaking of werewolves, Debbie is back with Alcide. I'll let this one slide because Alcide is hot and I will allow any storyline to keep him on the show.

Hoyt & Jessica gift creepy baby to Arlene & Terry. Now here's a great example of connecting the story lines together. I was getting sick of Arlene's obsession with her demon child, and now I have a reason for her to be obsessed. And I can definitely see the potential for this to comeback and affect Sookie and the whole town of Bon Temps.

Tara is a lesbian. Who cares? HBO keeps showing this on the 'previously on' segment, like it is supposed to shock us or something. Psh. Are you kidding?

Casting a New Spell

Casting A New Spell

It may still be months away.... but boy, am I psyched for True Blood.

Jason Stackhouse Loves Hugs

New Gap winter ads.... LOVE. 

Listen Up, True Blood

I know I might be repeating myself here, but seriously, True Blood, you need to calm down.

Before I get started on my rant-
Yes, I know this is a show about vampires and other supernatural creatures... and it always has been.
Yes, I will continue to watch for pure entertainment value (and because Alexander Skarsgard is just so pretty)
Yes, I know the show is pulling these stories from the books, which yes, I know, even though I haven't read them, are amazing (according to everyone I talk to....).

However...

I miss what True Blood was at its core- a show about human/vampire relationships, about embracing our differences (or not), about humanity, about equality, oh yeah, and about love.

Now the show is about vampires and sex (ok, those were always there) and shifters and werewolves and panthers and fairies.... and who knows what else will come along!

True Blood has to decide if it wants to be an Emmy-worthy drama that deals with real issues (in the context of this f#%ked up Bon Temps world of course) or if it wants to be a soapy, over-the-top drama that is just going for shock factor....


And just to reiterate... I'll still watch no matter what direction it chooses.

Ah, to be those sheets...

 “I don’t want a sock around it, that feels ridiculous. If we’re naked in the scene, then I’m naked. I’ve always been that way.”

-Alexander Skarsgard, aka the sexiest vamp around (suck it, R Patz.)

Heard it hear.

Oh, and see more of Skarsgard (and Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer) here... a lot more.

NSFW? Maybe.

Whoa. 

True Blood, I love ya but...

(possible spoiler alert(s)...)

You are out of control.

Werewolves. Werepanthers. Shifters. Dog fighting. Fairies. Demon babies. Genetically-linked mind reading. Psycho vampires taking over the world and terrorizing the ladies of Bon Temps (oh, and newscatsers). Droopy, white underpants. Naked man eating a deer (not to be confused with 'man-eating deer'... that might be worse).

Things are getting crazy in Bon Temps. What's new, you ask? Hasn't True Blood always been crazy? Yes, it has. But this season is just one disaster after another (after another after another).


Stories I like:

• Eric seeking revenge on Russell.
• Russell wanting to overthrow the America Vampire League. ('Equal rights for vampires? But we are not equals!' Ahhhhhh scary). I think this is/should be the BIG story this season. Forget werewolves or panthers or dogfighting, this goes back to the show's roots of vampire vs. human relations, and I like it.
• Anything with SophieAnne. I know people hate her.... but I like her. She's glamour-ous. Get it, glamour?!
• Alcide. Just him, being on screen. 
• Same goes for Jason. Although this whole Crystal and her crazy 'kin' mess is kind of dragging. 

Stroylines that don't seem to matter (but should and I hope we get more of them):

• Hoyt and Jessica!
• Crystal's 'kin' knowing that Sam is a shifter. Ummm, what? How do they know that?! I'm pretty sure these guys are werepanthers, so does that mean other shifters can sense each other? Sam didn't know that one chick was a shifter last season...
• Lafayette and Jesus. I wish this mattered, but unless Jesus turns out to be some supernatural creature who reeks havock on Bon Temps (which is still likely), he just doesn't matter.
• Arlene's baby... is it really 'pure' evil? And what is that new waitress talking about when she says 'there are other ways' to get rid of it? Umm.... am I missing something here? 
• Oh, and PS who is that other waitress? She better be important. 

And storylines I don't care about:

• What is Sookie? OMG, another supernatural creature? More powers? Light? Really, True Blood. This has to stop.
• Debbie. You are gross. Go away. 
• Tara. She's boring me with all her drama. 

RIP
Lorena, Talbot, Franklin, Magistrar, Cooter (seriously... is that wolf's name Cooter?), Newscaster

Disturbing to the max.

The final scene of True Blood last night makes it really difficult for me to write any sort of review or recap of the episode.... talk about disturbing! The vamp drama ceratinly proves it knows how to shock us, but that was beyond anything I could have imagined.... yikes.

Right now, I'll admit, I'm not loving True Blood. It is all disjointed. There are too many stories. Too many people. But I guess that is how last season was too, and I just have to have faith that eventually the stories will line up and there will be some killer finale. Here's what's going on in Bon Temps (and Jackson and beyond):

Bill is taken prisoner by the king of Mississippi (accompanied by his vamp husband Talbot and the evil make of Bill, Lorena). The king wants Bill to become a sheriff in MS, turning his back on Queen Sophie Anne of Louisiana. 

Speaking of... Sophie Anne and Eric are using Lafayette to sell V and some higher vamps may or may not be on to them. Eric buys Lafayette a car (how nice of him!). 

Eric enlists a really hot werewolf named Alcide to accompany Sookie on her journey to find Bill. Alcide is still in love with his ex, Debbie, who, as wel learned last night, is engaged to a werewolf working for the king of Mississippi. 

Tara is sad Eggs is dead, so she tries to kill herself, beats up some rednecks, hooks up with a vampire. 

Said vamp, Franklin, is there to investigate Bill (why? who knows.). He even goes as far to help Jessica dispose of a dead body to get her to tell him what he knows about her maker. 

Jessica and Hoyt are on the outs. Sam is enlisted (via Sookie) to watch over her. (SPOILER ALERT: Rumor has it a shape shifter is hooking up with a vamp later this season.... will we be seeing Jessam/Sammica? Poor Hoyt). 

Oh, and poor Jason keeps having visions of people with bullet holes in their heads as he deals with Eggs' murder. Now he wants to be a cop. Judging from his Rambo-like moves last season, I think he's got what it takes (brawn over brain of course). 

Sam meets his birth family. His mom is cool, but his dad is a drunk and his bro is jealous that Sam got a good life and he didn't so he turns into a bird and robs him. Rude. 

Where do we go from here? Previews indicate:

• Bill giving up on Sookie
• Sookie hooking up with Eric
• ... sorry, that's all I remember/care about. 

June 13

True Blood finale!

Poor Bon Temps. Those people can't catch a break. Now that they are all saved from MaryAnn (thank you Sam for dying, then coming back to life, turning into a bull and stabbing that crazy bia), they are struggling to remember what happened in their blackout state. We will have a lot to deal with when we meet back up with them next summer- with Tara mourning the loss of Eggs, Jason and Andy trying to cover up what really happened to him, Jessica going all vampire-crazy after Hoyt breaks her heart, and porr Sookie looking for her recent fiance-wh-doesn't-know-it-yet Bill (please tell me Eric didn't take him!).

Yes, True Blood's finale was sort of a downer, but it had its comedic moments as well. Here are some quotes from our favorite Louisianians...

"I'm a waitress, what the fuck are you?"

-Sookie to MaryAnn

"I heard about your maker. That blows."

-Sophie to Eric

"Love the smell of nail polish in the morning."

-Jason trying to save his town Rambo-style

"Worship him, bitches"

-Lafayette to all his zombie-eyed friends

"You might have your faults Andy, but at least you got pants on."

-the other cop to Andy, in the aftermath of MaryAnn's death

"Best to stick with Mountain Dew."

-Sam to the women who think the blackout was caused by aliens/LSD/the liberal media/vodka...

"If a tree falls in the woods its still a tree aint it."

-Jason to Andy. I might start a list of Jason-isms.

Thank you, good people of Bon Temps for giving us twelve weeks of excitement. See you next year!

Earth to Eric

Finally caught this week's True Blood. It was a pretty good episode- I can't give it an A+ unless I see Jason and/or Eric without a shirt though...

And speaking of Jason, can I just say that I am so so happy he is back to normal and free from the crazies at the Fellowship of the sun?! And him and Andy teaming up to save Bon Temps is just adorable. Love me some Jason Stackhouse.

How about the standout ladies of the episode? Poor Jessica loses her bf Hoyt just because she attacks his mother? Come on Hoyt, she is a vampire after all. And who loves Queen Sophie? I do! I do! I was expecting someone dark, mysterious, evil, but instead we get this snotty, rich girl ala Gossip Girl. And her 'day' room is the sh!t.

I do have to complain, however, that there wasn't nearly enough Eric-sexiness featured this week. I think he should be in every other scene (the others, of course, would be Jason's). Alexander Skarsgard is the new 'it' guy, and this Swede totally deserves it. Did you know that in the Viking scene where we first met Godric, it was Skarsgard who translated all the Swedish? He says they could've been saying whatever they wanted and no one behind the camera would have had a clue. And fun fact- he doesn't like being pasty white all the time. He says the first thing he did after this season wrapped was hit the beach for a tan. My kind of guy.

But here is the best thing about my Swedish lover. Are you aware that his first U.S. role was on Zoolander? I just assumed it was as some male model friend of Hansel's or soemthing but no. Earth to me, he was one of those guys. Yes, the one's who died in the gasoline fight after sipping Orange Mocha Frappacino's and jamming out to 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go.' Don't believe me? Take a look at this scene... Yep, that tall blonde guy is our beloved Eric.